For someone who is still growing in the knowledge of the “Will
of God” (especially in the area of marriage) to be writing about finding His Will
may be somewhat funny or even questionable. But as we have seen with God over
the years, the mouthpiece usually doesn’t matter, but what matters most is the
ONE speaking through it. (Jer. 1:4-10)
As
young men and women, the second most important decision we will ever make is deciding whom to marry. The first is who to serve. More often than not, most of us have wandered through the world and we've had different experiences; from
disappointments to heartbreaks to rejections, and all these, smeared with a little bit of fun and happiness and a brief experience of what a perfect relationship looks like, which last for only a short period, leaves us
wanting for more and all efforts to hold on to it have proved abortive. Then we
realise that only in God can we truly have that which we have always longed
for.
However, a host of us run to God for the sole purpose of
finding His Will concerning marriage but not willing to surrender every other aspect of our life to Him. The thing is, God is interested in all areas of our
life just as much as He is interested in our marital life, and God, being an
intentional God that cannot be coaxed or forced to do anything, will remain
silent until we come to the light of His word, i.e. building a relationship
with Him first. In Gen. 17:1, God said to Abraham;
“…walk before me and
be thou perfect”.
To know God’s Will, two steps, out of several, are
recommended;
1. Seek Him: This
cannot be stressed enough. Seeking God is the most important step in knowing
His Will, as those who seek Him will eventually find Him. In Mat. 6:33, Jesus
Christ said;
“Seek ye first the
kingdom of God and His righteousness and EVERY OTHER thing will be added unto
you”
In Prov. 8:17, our loving Father declared;
“I love them that
love me, and those that seek me early shall find me”
The Holy Spirit corroborated the points above, with an added
ingredient in seeking him in Heb. 11:6, which says:
“But without FAITH it
is impossible to please God; for he that cometh to God must believe that He is
and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him”
2. Do His Will: To
know His Will, we must be ready to do His Will. The most important Will of the
Father is that “His kingdom be established here on earth, just as it is in
heaven, and that we love our neighbours as ourselves”. As we will see very
soon, anyone that wants to know the Will of God concerning anything should be
ready to do His Will in all things.
You see, God’s will is not some kind of sacred principles or
enigmatic formula that we can use to solve all issues automatically. God’s will
is not partitioned such that we can choose to acknowledge it in areas such a
marriage, finance or moral conducts and then decide to take charge or control
over other areas as we deem fit. God’s will encompasses all areas of our life.
It involves walking before Him in total obedience and holiness, submitting
EVERYTHING to Him and seeking Him wholeheartedly to know Him and to be
completely filled with Him. Imagine a scenario where God is in control of your
life, He’s the only pilot in your craft, the only one in the driver’s seat of your
life, now, what do you think will happen when the wrong person tries to come
along? Either the person submits to Him or flees. This is just a minuscule
experience compared to what He's able to do when He's in complete control.
Now, having established the line of thoughts above, let us
now consider the characteristics of God’s will to help us understand it better
and identify it when we see it.
1. The will of God is 100% about God and 0%
about us.
“Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power;
for thou hast created all things and for
thy pleasure, they are and were created”. (Rev. 4:11)
In seeking God’s Will for our lives, especially in areas
such as marriage, we erroneously make our search self-centred. We think of that
perfect partner and imagine all manner of things we want to do with that person,
we have that seven-figure paying job at the top of our heart and in all of
these, the focus of our prayer points is; God please make it happen by all
means! Our prayer life becomes more of asking God to bless our plans instead of
asking Him to show us His.
Three characters that placed God’s needs before theirs that
I’d like us to quickly examine are; First, King Solomon, who of all the things
he could have asked, told God he only wants wisdom, to enable him to judge God’s PEOPLE rightly and now
we’re not only talking about him being the wisest king to have ever lived, but
also the wealthiest and the most famous during his time. The second person is
Moses, who realised that it is only by surrendering to God’s Will by leading His PEOPLE out of Egypt would
he ever be able to make something out of an impact-less, wilderness-wandering
life and the mighty things God did through him reeks throughout history. The
third character is our Lord Jesus Christ. He saw the challenges in God’s will
that were placed before Him in Luke 22:42, which He accepted and now, our souls
owe its salvation to Him. Summarising His life, trial, and reward, Heb. 12:2
says;
”Looking unto Jesus,
the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him
endured the cross, despising the shame and is set down at the right hand of the
throne of God”
The truth is, His
will is the highest quality material, His desire is far greater than ours and
His plans supersede our plans; because God’s ways are infinitely greater than
our own (Is. 55:8-9) and so, our thinking should be; “How will my relationship
bring glory to God? In what ways
will my job benefits the Lord? Putting
the needs of God first ends up providing for our own.
2. The Will of God is
not ambiguous.
“For our God is not the author of confusion but of peace…”
(1Cor. 14:33)
His will is precise, it is straightforward, with no buts or
maybe. It only has a single objective. When waiting on God for anything, we
must avoid the temptation of creating a backup plan, as we cannot be planning
for our success and failure at the same time.
3. Two people coming
together under the Will of God will always have their purposes align or in
agreement.
A story was shared
concerning a lady, to whom God revealed her purpose in life while she was yet
an undergraduate. God told her she’d go to one of the African countries as a
missionary and the man to be her husband will also have the same assignment.
Along the line, different men started showing up with marriage proposals, with an
identical mission but not exactly the same, which makes it easy for her to turn
them down until the right one eventually showed up. The bottom line is, knowing
your purpose in life will greatly help when it comes to choosing the right
partner.
4. Finally, the Will
of God has its own challenges…
…but we have confidence in the fact that our Lord Jesus
Christ has promised to be with us even in the midst of the storm. Marriages and
even relationships will always have challenges as it involves the coming
together of two people with different orientations and background and being an
institution the devil so loathes because it involves unity, he will never stop
until it crumbles. But speaking in John 16:33, our Lord Jesus Christ has
assured us, saying;
“In the world, ye
shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world”
In summary, if you
really want to know the Will of God for your life, concerning marriage but
you're not ready to submit all other areas of your life to Him, you might as
well, not bother about knowing His Will at all.
I will conclude with Gregg Matte’s quote in his book “Finding God’s Will”
“God’s Will is what
happens when you seek Him”.
