FINDING AND KNOWING GOD’S WILL IN MARRIAGE

For someone who is still growing in the knowledge of the “Will of God” (especially in the area of marriage) to be writing about finding His Will may be somewhat funny or even questionable. But as we have seen with God over the years, the mouthpiece usually doesn’t matter, but what matters most is the ONE speaking through it. (Jer. 1:4-10)

As young men and women, the second most important decision we will ever make is deciding whom to marry. The first is who to serve. More often than not, most of us have wandered through the world and we've had different experiences; from disappointments to heartbreaks to rejections, and all these, smeared with a little bit of fun and happiness and a brief experience of what a perfect relationship looks like, which last for only a short period, leaves us wanting for more and all efforts to hold on to it have proved abortive. Then we realise that only in God can we truly have that which we have always longed for.

However, a host of us run to God for the sole purpose of finding His Will concerning marriage but not willing to surrender every other aspect of our life to Him. The thing is, God is interested in all areas of our life just as much as He is interested in our marital life, and God, being an intentional God that cannot be coaxed or forced to do anything, will remain silent until we come to the light of His word, i.e. building a relationship with Him first. In Gen. 17:1, God said to Abraham;

“…walk before me and be thou perfect”.

To know God’s Will, two steps, out of several, are recommended;

1. Seek Him: This cannot be stressed enough. Seeking God is the most important step in knowing His Will, as those who seek Him will eventually find Him. In Mat. 6:33, Jesus Christ said;

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and EVERY OTHER thing will be added unto you”

In Prov. 8:17, our loving Father declared;

“I love them that love me, and those that seek me early shall find me”

The Holy Spirit corroborated the points above, with an added ingredient in seeking him in Heb. 11:6, which says:

“But without FAITH it is impossible to please God; for he that cometh to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him”

2. Do His Will: To know His Will, we must be ready to do His Will. The most important Will of the Father is that “His kingdom be established here on earth, just as it is in heaven, and that we love our neighbours as ourselves”. As we will see very soon, anyone that wants to know the Will of God concerning anything should be ready to do His Will in all things.

You see, God’s will is not some kind of sacred principles or enigmatic formula that we can use to solve all issues automatically. God’s will is not partitioned such that we can choose to acknowledge it in areas such a marriage, finance or moral conducts and then decide to take charge or control over other areas as we deem fit. God’s will encompasses all areas of our life. It involves walking before Him in total obedience and holiness, submitting EVERYTHING to Him and seeking Him wholeheartedly to know Him and to be completely filled with Him. Imagine a scenario where God is in control of your life, He’s the only pilot in your craft, the only one in the driver’s seat of your life, now, what do you think will happen when the wrong person tries to come along? Either the person submits to Him or flees. This is just a minuscule experience compared to what He's able to do when He's in complete control.

Now, having established the line of thoughts above, let us now consider the characteristics of God’s will to help us understand it better and identify it when we see it.

1. The will of God is 100% about God and 0% about us.

“Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power; for thou hast created all things and for thy pleasure, they are and were created”. (Rev. 4:11)

In seeking God’s Will for our lives, especially in areas such as marriage, we erroneously make our search self-centred. We think of that perfect partner and imagine all manner of things we want to do with that person, we have that seven-figure paying job at the top of our heart and in all of these, the focus of our prayer points is; God please make it happen by all means! Our prayer life becomes more of asking God to bless our plans instead of asking Him to show us His.

Three characters that placed God’s needs before theirs that I’d like us to quickly examine are; First, King Solomon, who of all the things he could have asked, told God he only wants wisdom, to enable him to judge God’s PEOPLE rightly and now we’re not only talking about him being the wisest king to have ever lived, but also the wealthiest and the most famous during his time. The second person is Moses, who realised that it is only by surrendering to God’s Will by leading His PEOPLE out of Egypt would he ever be able to make something out of an impact-less, wilderness-wandering life and the mighty things God did through him reeks throughout history. The third character is our Lord Jesus Christ. He saw the challenges in God’s will that were placed before Him in Luke 22:42, which He accepted and now, our souls owe its salvation to Him. Summarising His life, trial, and reward, Heb. 12:2 says;

”Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God”

The truth is, His will is the highest quality material, His desire is far greater than ours and His plans supersede our plans; because God’s ways are infinitely greater than our own (Is. 55:8-9) and so, our thinking should be; “How will my relationship bring glory to God? In what ways will my job benefits the Lord? Putting the needs of God first ends up providing for our own.

2. The Will of God is not ambiguous.

“For our God is not the author of confusion but of peace…” (1Cor. 14:33)

His will is precise, it is straightforward, with no buts or maybe. It only has a single objective. When waiting on God for anything, we must avoid the temptation of creating a backup plan, as we cannot be planning for our success and failure at the same time.

3. Two people coming together under the Will of God will always have their purposes align or in agreement.

A story was shared concerning a lady, to whom God revealed her purpose in life while she was yet an undergraduate. God told her she’d go to one of the African countries as a missionary and the man to be her husband will also have the same assignment. Along the line, different men started showing up with marriage proposals, with an identical mission but not exactly the same, which makes it easy for her to turn them down until the right one eventually showed up. The bottom line is, knowing your purpose in life will greatly help when it comes to choosing the right partner.

4. Finally, the Will of God has its own challenges…

…but we have confidence in the fact that our Lord Jesus Christ has promised to be with us even in the midst of the storm. Marriages and even relationships will always have challenges as it involves the coming together of two people with different orientations and background and being an institution the devil so loathes because it involves unity, he will never stop until it crumbles. But speaking in John 16:33, our Lord Jesus Christ has assured us, saying;

“In the world, ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world”

In summary, if you really want to know the Will of God for your life, concerning marriage but you're not ready to submit all other areas of your life to Him, you might as well, not bother about knowing His Will at all.

I will conclude with Gregg Matte’s quote in his book “Finding God’s Will”

“God’s Will is what happens when you seek Him”.

AN AMBASSADOR FOR PEACE...IN THE FACE OF VIOLENCE

As a little boy, I've always abhorred oppression, especially those mixed with violence, perpetrated towards people with little or no help or the ability to defend themselves, but then, there was nothing I could do then, but to wish for some kind of superpowers to avenge the oppressed, unfortunately, they were just mere wishes.

Violence can be described as man’s inhumanity to man at any level and most often in our world, we believe that the only response to oppression, injustice and ultimately violence is… violence and it is quite logical, to some extent, to think that way. The violence that the world suffers today is not a punishment of any kind but a natural consequence of our own violent actions. As humans, we have been wired psychologically to instinctively respond to violence in one of two ways; flight or fight. We either stand and fight when we are sure the odds are in our favour, e.g. David and Goliath (1Samuel 17:45) or run for our dear lives like the children of Isreal did against the Judeans in 2Chronicles 13:16.

But Jesus Christ offers a third way; a non-violent direct action. Now, this does not mean non-resistance or cowardice. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 5:38 – 42;

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.  If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also.  And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two.  Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away”

In a book by Martin Robinson, a story was told of a man who had a bad day at the office, he was criticised, abused and wrongly accused by his employer. When he got home, he poured the anger and aggression on his wife, a few minutes later, their first child came around and the mother transferred the anger and negative emotions to him, the boy felt hurt and unhappy and in turn, made the youngest daughter feels her share of the anger and negative energy flowing around, being the youngest child and no one to transfer her anger to, she fled to her room, picked her doll, pummelled it, smashed it and threw it violently across the room, leaving it in tatters – like a rag doll – where it lays helplessly on the ground. And surprisingly, the doll did not react nor did it fight back, and just like that, the flow of anger and violence had finally been absorbed and ended.

The actions of the doll illustrate an aspect of Christ’s action on the cross; ending the superiority of evil and it’s rulers. But breaking the cycles of violence is not just to allow violence to pass without any comment, it is also to allow a new beginning and new stories to emerge.

Jesus Christ was a willing innocent who chose not to speak in his own defence, but rather to remain silent (Mark 15:5). Jesus Christ embodies the covenant of non-violence which invites us to become a people of peace. And to fulfil our side of the covenant, we must renounce all forms of violence, make peace, seek justice for the poor and helpless, love our enemies, forgive wholeheartedly and LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY. Are you willing to be an ambassador for peace?

                                                                                              ...By Neogalgius.
                                                                                             Credit; Why the Cross by Martin Robinson

7 PRINCIPLES AND BENEFITS OF PLANNING IN EFFECTIVE LIVING.

Early in April this year, I joined a team for outreach in Oyo State. We were in a community on a Thursday till Sunday. On the last day of the exercise, a friend made a comment that sparked a train of thoughts in me on how people sometimes allow time to be wasted without a plan, and consequently, the purpose is helplessly unpreserved. She said, “We were here on Thursday but it was just like an hour gone.”

Life runs in a similar way: We were here some years ago and we will soon leave this planet. There are two irrevocable gifts of life that one has to be wise in handling: Time and opportunity. This is because what we do or don’t do with the opportunity when time lasts invariably becomes the net worth of life.

While pondering on her words, my mind was inundated with hundreds of thoughts. I observed we were on a mission and we had a purpose to accomplish; we encountered unforeseen circumstances such as rainfall; we had reasons to make adjustments such as change venue, time or method; and despite the fact that the circumstances were not lenient on us, the time didn’t stop. If we had not planned our time, it would have just kept burning for nothing. Time waits for no persons, no matter their status. Dr Mike Murdock wrote, “Planning is the starting point for any dream or goal that you possess.” He defined a plan as “a written list of arranged actions necessary to achieve your desired goal.” Planning becomes the highest form of faith in God. Failure to plan in the name of spirituality is foolishness. Such deception is born out of a lack of understanding of how God works. God is the planner of ages who never does anything without planning. Evidently, God never starts anything He has not finished. God stands in eternity and says, “Only my plan shall prevail.” Therefore, any visions or dreams that aren’t documented are mere wishes or hopes.

Follow me closely as I earmark the seven (7) principles and benefits of planning I learned from our outreach.

“What we do or don’t do with the opportunity when time lasts invariably becomes our net worth of life.”

Principle #1

Planning Preserves Purpose

On the second day of the outreach, we were heavily disturbed by rain. Nevertheless, we were able to accomplish our purpose for the hour because we had a guiding plan. Planning preserves purpose even though the procedure may change.

Every man is here on earth to fulfil a purpose. However, discouragements will sediment at the bottom of our hearts from time to time. We will keep having discouraging thoughts, moments and circumstances to fight. But it is relieving to know that when we have a guiding plan for our lives, our purpose for each moment of our lives shall be preserved. 

Principle #2

Planning Regulates Time

The greatest commodity in our life is time. Time is the only thing that is unambiguously equivalent to life. Our life ends up becoming what we exchange our time for. Therefore, time should be made accountable. It should be monitored and effectively spent. Time drips continually like the eastern earthen roof: sixty drops of the measure of time making one hour. When we have twenty-four hours, it makes one day. It doesn’t take long for time to accumulate. However, planning is the strategy by which time is prolifically captured.

Planning is the most effective time management strategy and a sure way of living effectively. Success is accomplishment and accomplishment is in doing. However, work will be uncoordinated or simply unregulated without adequate planning. At the outreach, our time was regulated by planning. Everybody knew what to do, how to do, when to do, for what reason to do and when to do any items in our agenda of the program. Our order of programme outlined when to sleep, when to eat, when to pray and when to work. So our time was well managed. Not only does planning regulate the time, but it also redeems the time.

Principle #3

Planning Gives Value to Time

You probably have heard the saying: “How time flies!” Time is volatile; it vaporizes readily where there’s no planning. Our time out for the outreach from Thursday to Sunday was just like a few hours gone. On the last day, we could not believe we had spent about 3 days already for the program.

Nonetheless, what counted at the end of the day was what we were able to accomplish according to our planning, even though time itself had flown away. The best judge of our effectiveness in life is time. The quality of life is measured in domination or donation, not in duration. It is in what we have been able to do between the first life cry and the final breath.

“Success is accomplishment and accomplishment is in doing”

Principle #4

Planning Helps to Accomplish Much within Short Time

A dream or goal with no deadline can last till eternity. An academic program that’s supposed to last for 3 years can be run for 7 years if there is no solid plan for it. For instance, you may be a PhD student and goes to the laboratory any day you feel like. However, having a plan can make a difference. This is because planning makes you disciplined. Planning will dictate what kind of friend you choose, what number of hours you spend on TV, and what kind of book you read. In a nutshell, planning will help you to accomplish much within a short time.

Planning also monitors the progress of purpose. One can monitor one’s progress in business, academic, or ministry with a plan. During our outreach, we simply confirmed our progress by checking what agenda we had accomplished compared with what we set out to accomplish. So in a short time, we made a great impact on the community.

Principle #5

Planning Helps to Shun Distractions

It is natural for discouragements to come. Many circumstances cannot be figured out at the beginning. But they will surface somewhere in the middle of the way. Both expected and unexpected distractions are best handled by having a solid plan.

The wisdom needed for the moment will come if there is a plan. Of course, you can’t adjust a plan you don’t have. When we were distracted by rain at our outreach, we changed the venue. In fact, some of us quickly came up with an alternative program that somewhat fulfilled the initial plan. A person who works with a plan is not readily distracted by little challenges.

“A little deviation from what your priority should be may lead you where you should not be”

Principle #6

Planning Checks Procrastination

A Planned Life is a Captured Destiny. You see, life can be funny. One may be at the realm of the profession of what one would love to accomplish in life for the whole first-half of one’s life. John Mason rightly said, “Some people spend half their lives telling what they are going to do, and the other half explaining why they didn’t do it.” What you ought to do today may be postponed till tomorrow because nothing is planned for tomorrow. That of tomorrow too can be postponed till next tomorrow because every new day is always an unoccupied, unplanned day.

A loosed destiny is the one that is not planned. It can stray at will following the dictate of societal happenings. An unplanned life can be stopped by economic hardship but the mind of a planned one will devise a surviving mechanism no matter how difficult is it. For our outreach, we never allowed our time to be dictated for by harsh circumstances we met on ground. We never procrastinate what we ought to do per time. Procrastination is not only a thief of time but also a thief of life because time is life.

Principle #7

Planning Helps in Maintaining Priority and Focus

There are one thousand and one things that will demand one’s attention in life. You cannot do or become everything. You don’t have to be everywhere; however, you can be somewhere and effects everywhere. This is the nature of light. Light only stays at the lamp-stand and gives illumination to everyone that comes in or goes out.

There are many good things that may demand for your time but not all good things are right. A little deviation from what your priority should be may lead you where you should not be. Therefore, the key to effective living is a priority. Planning is important in setting the right priority. It will help you focus on a few but glorious things you’ve carefully selected among other important things. By this, planning gives meaning to life.

                                                                    ....By Yemi Adekunle https://yemiadekunle.com.ng

WHAT YOU THINK, YOU ARE..!!!

Several years ago, I used to have a friend, his name, Femi. Femi and I were close friends, did a lot of funny things together, although, he was fiercer and stronger, I could remember he once competed with a dog just to show off his pace, and a bike man once knocked him down, and instead of getting him treated, the bike man started lamenting over his damaged bike, my friend only had few bruises; believe me, he's that strong.

Back then, we had a neighbour, he was quite fond of us, he was always challenging and encouraging us, we’d spend time in his apartment watching movies, and one movie in particular "The Promised Child" by Mount Zion Ministries. This friend of mine and I would watch this movie over and over until we started mimicking the actors, both in actions and in words until this neighbour of ours couldn’t take it anymore – because of our disturbances – while at the same time impressed because of what he perceived to be a rare talent; the ability to remember everything, word for word.

Fast forward a little bit, during secondary school, I have this teacher who would call me out from among my mates and tell me to sing any of the then-popular TuFace songs and I would, without any mistake, pour out the lyrics perfectly, series of applause and what seems like a hero worship from himself and everyone in class would follow. Only for him to give us a short test which I ended up failing, and without any regard for my lauded performances earlier, he would design my back with his long flexible cane. Master K.C. thank you!!!

Then, I couldn’t help but wonder; “how is it that I could remember these songs and movies and all that, but not what I've been taught in class”. I had to change so many things to get myself on the right track.

I was in church one day during an annual programme, a young boy came up and started reading the book of Psalms, I was shocked when I couldn’t find a Bible with him – Wow!! He didn’t start reading the book a day to the programme I suppose. I believe you probably must have heard about a young boy who recited the whole of the Quran by heart, you’d agree with me that that boy didn’t start his preparation a day to the contest either.

The thing is, the ability to remember anything at all depends on interest as well as the willingness to repeat the whole process. Have you ever noticed, let’s say you play scrabble, chess, checkers or any of the board games a lot, that you start seeing the board game in the air, without having it with you physically, like you're seeing a vision, the pieces are moving spontaneously, giving you new ideas. The thing is, the brain will only give you what you're constantly giving to the brain, what you're always exposing it to. Practice, they say makes perfection..!!!

The law of Habit says, “Any thought or action that you repeat over and over will eventually become a new habit.” You see, for my friend and I, we were both interested in the movie and was always willing to repeat the whole process of watching that particular movie over and over, not minding the number of times we have seen it. The songs I was always singing so effortlessly was as a result of constant practice and a big deal of interest. You are not what you think you are, but what you think, you are. The mind is one of the most powerful – if not the most powerful – tool that was given to man, with a powerful force that can be turned in any direction to bring about wonderful results or wreak havoc and destruction, and the beautiful thing is, you are the only one with the key to your mind.

...By Neogalgius